It's not that I haven't had anything to say
Pause: if you have felt recently that you need to lay something before Him, fix something, or challenge yourself in a new way then do it! It can be messy but undeniably beautiful!!
Conti...
So here goes. Last year a dear friend of mine sent me the book Kisses from Katie. I am obsessed with reading. I am that person that will buy books before I am finished with the other 3 and I refuse to get a kindle because I simply love the smell of books and being able to turn pages (weird, I know, but oh well!) So I should have been excited that I got a new book. But I wasn't. When I got it I sent her a "yay, thank you so much for my gift" text, but really I wasn't happy at all. I wanted to tuck it away. In fact, this was a book I had been avoiding so to get it I thought "you have got to be kidding me." However, He always knows what He is doing.
I knew the Lord had been slowly working on my heart for me to return to Africa. A place that at 18 years old, I knew I was supposed to meet. When I got back from Uganda in August of 2012, however, I had selfishly come to a place where I was ready to stay in America. Yes, travel during my summer breaks from teaching, but I was more than content to stay and build a life here. I quickly realized that was not what He wanted. Naturally, I fought this because I'm stubborn (must be because of the red hair) and I had made up my mind what was next.
As time continued I finally picked up the book and after all of 1 page I began to cry (don't feel sad, I cry all the time. It's ridiculous really) and turned to scripture. It was there that I was reminded that nothing goes according to my plan and it's better that way...so much better! I began to pray that He would give me not only an obedient heart but one that would be joyful about it. I wasn't gonna say yes to going if I was going to do it with a bad attitude. He doesn't want that from us anyways. He delights in setting our paths before us and He wants us to delight in it too.
Finally, I was ready to say yes to returning to Africa. But for how long and where? Back to Uganda or somewhere new? For another few weeks or longer? I had remembered there was a family that I had been told about while in Uganda, that lived in Mozambique, who would benefit from having a home school teacher. When I thought on them I had this peace that that was where I was gonna be. So I contacted Africa Inland Mission (who I went through for Uganda) with that full excitement on here we go, this is what I'm gonna do, I'm ready!! AIM shortly replied with, "that family is not there anymore." Pity moment: WHAT? Seriously? After all this time and now me saying okay, you are gonna tell me they aren't there. Fine! Now what Lord?
And as always He stayed true to who He is and I felt reassurance that this was still the path I was to take.That I would work with this family. I firmly believe that sometimes He asks us to say yes but then puts obstacles in our paths just to see if we'll continue to say yes. So I continued with life and went on a trip to Costa Rica with a friend. Before leaving, I asked Him to let me leave my worries and to experience who He is in a new setting. And wouldn't you know it, He did!! And then when I landed in Houston, my emails went off, and there it was. An email from AIM telling me that the family had just returned and that they would love for me to join their team.
So that's what I'm doing. I quickly realized that I needed to give them more than just a few weeks and accepted the assignment to go for an American school year. I leave this August and I couldn't be more excited.
As I look back over this year I am tempted to scold myself for how stubborn I was and how I fought Him along the way, but all I really want to do is celebrate my King and to praise Him. He has loved me in spite of all of my ridiculousness and even though He doesn't need me, He rejoices in allowing me to be part of the Kingdom's work.
I am excited about a new culture, new faces, my team, the struggles, all of it, but more than anything I am excited to show/tell people of my Jesus.
I hope you follow along, as I prep to head over and while I'm over there. I am fully aware that 9 1/2 months is only a breath of time, but it will be a full amount of time and I suspect I'll have a lot of stories to share.
....oh yeah, and for the book Kissies from Katie, I finished it last week. One year to read a book, but that's only because every time I began to read it, it only made me ache for the place that I miss more than I realized.
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| MY HOUSE!!! |
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| In case you were wondering! |
